10 differences between people who are mentally stronger than average

It seems that it is not easy to take care of mental health these days. It’s not easy to get a job, the job isn’t easy, and it’s fortunate that self-employed/startups don’t fail. Wherever you go, competition, competition, competition…

As a result, many people ask for ways to become a so-called ‘mental gab’ by e-mail/message. In the past, I also experienced the difficulties of dropping out of college and failing at startups. So, today, as we welcome the new year, I would like to summarize the 10 differences between people who are mentally stronger than average, hoping that readers will have a good year with a strong mentality.

high metacognition

Metacognition means knowing what I know and what I don’t know / what results my actions will produce. Actual top 1% learners and successful businessmen come out with relatively higher metacognition than other abilities than ordinary people.

So what does this metacognition have to do with mentality? A person with high metacognition is someone who knows very clearly not only their abilities, but also their ‘limits’. Therefore, they tend to quickly figure out what I can and cannot do, quickly accept what I cannot do, and do my best in what I can do. It means doing what you can do without giving your whole mind to what you cannot change.

If you want to become mentally strong, always remember the prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr.

“Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can. And give me the wisdom to always know the difference between the two.”

high self-efficacy

Self-efficacy refers to belief in one’s ability to perform a task. If you can share what you can and cannot do with high metacognition, you must now have faith in yourself that you can do what you can. When you have such faith, you can possess a strong mentality.

What you should not miss here is the fact that self-efficacy does not refer to the ability to perform a task per se, but to the ‘belief’ that such an ability exists in oneself. Because not many tasks are done at once. It comes with many failures. At this time, if there is no sense of self-efficacy, there is a high possibility of giving up, despairing, or running away. Your mentality will be broken. However, if you have a high sense of self-efficacy, you will continue to take on challenges despite failure.

And if trial and error continue while possessing high metacognitive ‘probability’, the possibility of succeeding in the task increases. When this happens repeatedly, self-efficacy increases even more. In that sense, a growth mindset that is not frustrated by failure is very important to mental.

Have a growth mindset

World-renowned psychologist Carol Dweck found out that humans have two mindsets about their existence. One is to look at yourself fixedly. For example, intelligence and personality do not change. Therefore, it is to think that everyone is fixed as they are born. This is called a ‘fixed mindset’.

On the other hand, there are people who believe that intelligence and personality can change, and that all people can change if they try. This type of person is called a person with a “growth mindset”.

Most of the cases when the mental is broken is when you experience failure. However, when they experience failure, a person with a fixed type is likely to feel threatened by their ego and hurt their existence. On the other hand, the growth type thinks that failure is only a process for their own growth. Of course, the two types of people will show a difference in mental maintenance.

In that sense, when high metacognition and a growth mindset meet, really fantastic things happen. The growth type values hard work rather than talent, so the amount of effort is enormous. However, in order to achieve something, there is a limit to the amount of effort. ‘How to make an effort’ is very important. That means you have to put in a lot of effort in the right way. However, the higher the metacognition, the better the methodology/strategy can be established. Your sense of self-efficacy will naturally increase. And it becomes a mental armor.

find meaning

Nietzsche said this.

“He who knows a reason to live can endure almost any condition.”

What is your life purpose? Why are you studying? Why do you go to work? Why are you doing it? Mental becomes stronger when you can clearly answer these questions. Of course, it doesn’t have to be just one reason. It can be many. There are reasons to hold on. Instead, when there are many reasons to butter, you should have 1 to 3 together. Because you shouldn’t be weighed down by so many reasons.

have an attractive goal

In that sense, it is very good to have attractive and lofty goals. It’s okay to call it a dream or a vision. If you have a grand goal, you can find meaning in it even if you experience failure in trivial things. What are your attractive and ambitious goals? Whenever your mental shakes, I hope you think of your grand dream with the following quote by Oscar Wilde.

“We all struggle in the mud, but some of us look up at the stars in the night sky.”

have a specific action plan

But mentally strong people don’t just play above the clouds with grand goals. We have a very specific action plan to achieve that goal. A grand long-term goal is broken down into short-term goals, and there is a detailed plan to achieve those short-term goals.

This greatly increases your chances of achieving your actual goal. More than anything, because I made many small plans, I gained confidence and strengthened my mentality as I experienced many small successes. In fact, several psychological studies have proven that small successes have the power to see one’s future optimistically. If you are optimistic about your future, you will be able to overcome the difficulties of reality. It is to become the owner of a strong mentality.

good environment settings

There are many things that mental becomes powder, but especially the moment when I can’t do what I have to do is so painful. At this time, people who are mentally strong do not try to overcome the situation recklessly. I try to overcome the situation through environment settings.

For example, in the case of me, I do not do both social media and blogging when I am writing. When you write on a blog or Facebook, you have to respond to likes or comments, which wastes time and cognitive ability. I can’t write properly. It’s really hard when the deadline is approaching and the writing isn’t progressing. That’s why it’s completely blocked. Especially in the case of SNS, when I start writing, I say that I will leave Facebook for a while. Now that I have said this, I can endure even if Facebook is craving for a moment.

Don’t try to win the situation with pure ‘gang’, but think wisely about how you can set up the environment. It is a shortcut to the mental armor.

Take good care of your body

According to George Vaillant, a master of happiness research, 4 out of 7 conditions for happiness are related to health. This means that the mind is closely related to the body.

You need to take good care of your body through habituation of exercise, stable sleep life, healthy eating habits, etc. If you take good care of your body and know its mechanisms well, it will have a very positive effect on your mental as well as your studies and work. The body armor is the mental armor.

Building healthy interpersonal relationships

Four of the seven conditions for happiness mentioned above are related to the body, and two are related to interpersonal relationships. In particular, if there is someone who absolutely supports me, that person can be said to be a thousand forces and horses in terms of mentality. In reality, the degree of loneliness does not depend on the number of friends or the range of relationships. Loneliness disappears even if there is only one friend who supports me and believes in me.

In addition, altruists who help and donate to others feel greater life satisfaction. The possibility of possessing a strong mentality increases.

develop your skills

Finally, you need to develop your skills in your field. And you shouldn’t neglect reading and studying to improve your skills. If you know the 9 things so far, you can study yourself