Even if you change these 3 trivial words, the result changes

With the development of social media, our words can spread to the world as text and video. So, a single word can have enormous economic and cultural ripple effects. So, how can we speak words that produce results? In fact, it is not easy to get immediate results with just one word. That is why words and attitude are important. Our future will be determined by how I speak. Even if you make a simple tone of speech that will be discussed later into a habit, you will not lose anything, and if you are lucky, you can get big results.

Authority effect

The authority effect is powerful. In fact, it would be best if we had authority ourselves, but the limits are clear. This is because no matter how much authority you have, your influence is limited to a specific field. When I was young, when I was arguing with my friends, when I asked for a reason, the word that came out easily was “I saw it on TV!”. Although not as much as now, the authority effect of the mass media was enormous.

One of the reasons we must constantly study is to use the authority effect properly. These days, with the development of online, anyone can read papers through Google search, and if you are lucky, you can communicate with authorities through SNS. When a person who claims something based on solid test results from a prestigious laboratory and a person who is just a loud voice are pitted, the result is obvious. But the reality is grim. When you look at SNS, unfounded rumors spread, and at some point, lies turn into facts. I’m not jokingly calling myself ‘God Google’. If you can read English to some extent, you can access more verified information than you think. Still, it is not an exaggeration to say that in Korea, if we develop logic based on such clear information, we will gain great competitiveness. (Unfortunately, this is also the reality of Korean literacy)

We, not me

There are many people in the world with their own thoughts from various backgrounds, but there is one thing that is almost certain in common. What interests you the most is yourself. Even in a really noisy market, I can easily recognize someone calling my name. That’s why we are consciously and unconsciously interested in ourselves. So when you talk, you have to talk about ‘we’ interests, including the other person, not your own interests. The reason win-win is the ultimate outcome is not simply because there is no defeat, but because it is our victory. But most of us try to put ourselves at the center of the conversation when we talk. In order to satisfy their interests and achieve the results they want, they constantly talk from the perspective of ‘me’. Of course, if you start any negotiations, you have to get what you want to make a good result. But first, let’s ponder what we can achieve together. If we, not me, are at the center of the conversation, the dissonance resulting from differences in viewpoints will be significantly reduced.

Low barriers to entry

We have a very strong need for closure. More people than you think want to reach conclusions quickly. However, the conclusion may be farther away. When you need to create a certain result through conversation, it is more effective if you first solve the clues from small things that the other person can easily accept. The first time is difficult, the second time is easier than you think. So it’s a very good strategy to start with a conversation that doesn’t even have a point at the very beginning. Let’s start with a story that everyone can agree on with a very low entry barrier, and form a consensus first, even if it’s weak. If the probability of failure was 90% when we just moved to the main topic, it is safe to say that it has already been lowered to 80%.

When I was in graduate school, there were many cases where I had to borrow equipment from other laboratories. But, of course, no one will like it if you say that you will use some equipment. There were students from various countries in the graduate school, and whenever I went to a new lab, I bought some Korean snacks to ease the awkward atmosphere. Is there another common language in the world as much as snacks? It was not difficult to get closer if we opened up a conversation while eating snacks before using the equipment and complaining about the difficulties of being a graduate school or researcher together. Friends who became so close not only used the equipment, but also passed on the know-how they knew. Because of the relationship that started like this, instead of first contacting the academic advisors and conducting joint research, the students collaborated first and notified the results to their respective advisors, creating the best win-win case of writing a co-author thesis.