1 unexpected attitude that ruins relationships

Human relationships are more important than anything else for humans, who are eusocial animals. However, there is one unexpected attitude that we are not conscious of, but which ruins human relationships.

It is the words and actions that try to control the other person.

First, you need to know where the desire to control others comes from. says that our desire to control comes from the desire to avoid unwanted emotions.

The reason why we are not happy right now is because other people did or didn’t do certain things, so I’m trying to control other people to do or not to do certain things in order to overcome the situation.

The idea that “if OOO behaved differently, everything would be fine”.

Put your hand on your heart once and think of the relationship between you and your lover, between yourself and your spouse, between yourself and your parents, between you and your children, between you and your friends, and between you and your co-workers and superiors and subordinates.

How many times have you thought that ‘you’ should change instead of thinking that ‘I’ should change in order to overcome an uncomfortable relationship and restore the relationship? And how many words and actions have you used your situation and status to control others?

The words and actions you try to control can be momentarily successful. However, if the expression of the desire to control is continuously practiced, the relationship between the two will be damaged in the long run. In the end, you can get away from unwanted emotional pain in the short term, but in the long run, you can suffer from greater emotional pain.

Therefore, the first principle of human relations is:

“Don’t try to change others”

With this spirit, if you accept the other person as they are and if you try to change yourself rather than others, there is a high possibility that others will change themselves in the direction you want when they see you. Even if it doesn’t change, the situation will be better than the handshake that you try to control.

If you accept others as they are, you will also be accepted for who you are.